Russian Team blames poor scores on cheating by Georgia

Many members of the Russian Georgia Invasion team are still hopeful of medals despite receiving low scores from a panel of International judges on the first day of action after the start of the Olympics. American head of the judges George Bush said; ‘They started well, but see, they put their foot over the line and obviously we have to look real close at that. We expected them to steady themselves, regain their concentration and sort themselves out, but nope, they just kept right on a-goin. And nobody’s gonna give them full marks for that.’

Other judges were more forthright in their appraisal of the Russian Team’s performance admitting they had initially given low scores as they were annoyed at being called away from watching the cycling to pass judgement on an event which they weren’t even aware had been scheduled in the first place, but on reflection each of them stood by their scores. However, the Russians are protesting, saying they believed they were well within the line as they saw it, and would have been able to stabilise themselves at that point had their opponents the Georgians not pushed them over it by cheating.

‘It’s disappointing of course to receive such a low approval from the judges but we’ve faced this many times before and usually get through it in the end,’ said Russia’s team coach Dmitry Medvedev. ‘But don’t forget this is an event covering many other disciplines and we are confident of wowing the judges with our potential in other upcoming elements such as ‘Arming Iran’, and of course ‘European Gas Shortage’.

‘Russia is a proud nation, and of course we want to be champions again,’ continued Mr Medvedev, although by this time head coach Mr Putin clearly had his hand up the back of Mr Medvedev’s jacket, and was trying very hard not to move his lips. ‘There are still other events to consider which we haven’t yet entered and it is not too late to put our names down for them. Maybe we’ll enter the ‘Big Red Button’ event, maybe we won’t. Who knows?’

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