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Russian pullout from Georgia ‘followed criticism on Facebook’

Political analysts were still reeling last night following the disclosure by sources within the Kremlin that Russia had only ‘buckled under pressure’ when reviewing group membership statistics on the social networking website Facebook.

‘We could cope with the threat of military action from NATO or pressure from the EU or the United Nations’ said a Russian official, ‘but when you’re confronted by 726 new members in just one day joining the group ‘Get Russian Troops Out Of Georgia NOW, PLEASE!!!’ then even glorious Mother Russia understands it’s time to sit down and listen.’

Russian military chiefs panicked when confronted by the concerns of ordinary internet users from around the world including ‘An Open Letter To Moscow’ signed by nearly two dozen History of Art students at Oxford Brookes. ‘Between them, the internet group members seemed to have a pretty good grasp of the situation in Georgia,’ said a senior Kremlin spokesman. ‘They knew it was somewhere East of where they lived and understood that Russia was much, much bigger than the former Soviet Republic. Their arguments in favour of a withdrawal were powerful and convincing. And when one of them commented ‘stupid rusian jerks!!!! get the hell outta georgeia!!!’ We knew we had little choice.’

However some Western observers believe that Kremlin claims to have listened to Facebook members is part of an elaborate smokescreen designed to impress Western Governments. ‘They were going to pull out anyway. The Russians just said all that stuff about the internet to make us think they actually had working computers.’

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2008 by Team Biscuit

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