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Citröen deny problem with ‘non-Transforming’ C4 model

French car maker Citröen has rejected complaints from buyers that its best-selling C4 cars don’t turn into giant robots as advertised on TV. The cars sold in their thousands after TV commercials showed the model transforming into an eight metre tall roller-blading android, but now disappointed owners have flooded the car-maker’s offices with angry phone calls after attempts to make their cars ‘Transform’ ended in disaster.

‘I tried to make my C4 stand up and slide along a crash barrier near my house like it showed on the telly and it broke straight away,’ said one Glasgow motorist. Sandy Mackintosh says he bought the car because he believed it was one of the most extraordinary cars ever made. ‘In fact, what I got was a dull runabout that couldn’t even stand up on its back wheels. It’s a disgrace.’

Citröen insists that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the cars. A spokesman said that some buyers had misunderstood the C4 model line-up’s nine variants, from the entry level ‘L’ to the hand-built ‘Transformer’ series. He said ‘If customers had made it clear to our salespeople that they wanted the C4 Transformer upgrade with the roller-blading android option, they would have got it. Nobody did, so the Transformer version was withdrawn from sale. All the cars were crushed and sent to landfill sites and we can’t remember where they are.’

However the company says that the C4’s replacement, due to be launched next year, will feature slightly less sophisticated but more practical ‘Transforming’ features like adjustable front seats and an electric sunroof. ‘Excitingly, it will also play this really funky 90s techno-trance music continuously through concealed exterior speakers,’ they added. ‘Our research has shown that buyers believe this will demonstrate how totally cool they are, even when the car has a ‘Princess on Board’ sticker in the back window.’

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2008 by smudge

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