The world of competitive tennis has been rocked following the shock discovery of the uncanny likeness of a tennis racquet to a guitar. Thirty six year old father of two Gerald Davis of Essex was playing at a public tennis court in Ilford with his eleven year old daughter Moira, when the ball went out of the court. In the time taken for Moira to retrieve the ball, Mr Davis found himself using the racquet to mime to ‘Stairway to Heaven.’ His daughter was not embarrassed at all, and other tennis players on adjacent courts were soon unable to continue for laughing so much at this inspired observation that a tennis racquet might be used for an improvised strumming mime.
‘We thought he must be some sort of professional comic filming a TV show, to come up with something like that’ said one witness. ‘We felt like we were there at the birth of something really new.’ Soon other tennis players had abandoned their games and were miming ‘Whole Lotta Love and ‘Wonderwall’ as crowds gathered to laugh at the new craze. When word reached the All England Tennis Club, Britain’s top seeds were keen to try the guitar mime out for themselves.
Unfortunately the discovery of this uncanny racquet/guitar similarity has made it impossible for the professionals to concentrate on their game. Andy Murray, Britain’s number one hopeful lost in straight sets to a rank outsider yesterday as his concentration on the game was wrecked by the urgent need to mime to ‘Smoke on the Water.’
In a separate development, comic Graham Norton was playing tennis yesterday and observed that it is normal practice to put spare tennis balls in your pocket when serving. He has announced that he and his writers are taking a few weeks off to try and work out if there is any sort of innuendo that might developed around this theme.
26 Oct 2008