NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Screenwriters’ strike leaves porn industry without plots and dialogue

The US porn industry has been badly hit by a the US writer’s strike that has left the business completely without ideas, plots and convincing dialogue.

The American Writers’ Guild strike centres around DVD and other secondary rights and has left Hollywood and the United States TV industry in crisis with screenwriters with-holding scripts from the major studios and gag writers refusing to supply jokes for topical comedy shows. However nowhere has the Writers Strike been more acutely felt than in America’s pornographic film industry, where suddenly directors and actors are having to make up storylines and dialogue themselves, resulting in totally unconvincing and contrived sexual encounters.

‘We were filming ‘Pizza Guy Delivers Extra Hot Sausage’’ said porn actress Sylvie Steel. ‘But with no script the pizza guy just turned up and undid his flies and said ‘here’s the extra sausage you ordered’. I just turned to the director and said “I’m sorry, but I would just find that disgusting and deeply offensive behaviour from a complete stranger. In fact I would probably call the police’.’

Without a writer to turn to, the confused director suggested they try following this improvized plot idea, but when four hunky actors in cop costumes turned up, Ms Steel rejected suggestions that she would probably want to have sex with them all using their handcuffs and batons, but that she would more likely want to give a detailed statement of the indecent exposure she had witnessed earlier.

On another set where a crew were filming ‘Secretary’s Double-sided Problem’ an engineer called to fix a photocopier and then simply carried out the maintenance, exchanging pleasantries before leaving to attend his next job. The actor playing the engineer said that anything else would have seemed ‘incredibly forward of me’. Where sexual encounters have been filmed, actors have been reduced to making endless grunting noises or just saying ‘Yeah, oh yeah’ over and over again.

‘Writers are an essential part of the Adult Film Industry’ said porn director Ralf Radd, on a new DVD introducing a new compilation of his work. ‘Without them people watching pornographic films will just fast forward through the boring bits at the beginning and not…’

jazzer

Share this story...

Send to a Friend:





Click to send this story to a friend

Posted: Nov 7th, 2008 by NewsBiscuit

Tagged as: , , , , , ,

Click for more stories about: Arts/Entertainment