NewsBiscuit

It has emerged that a plot to kill millions of civilians has been foiled by a handful of secret service agents who exploited the inability of plotters to shoot properly.

Barry Dearden, a former MI5 agent, said that in this respect the TV series Spooks (shown as MI5 in the US), which had just finished another run, was extremely accurate. ‘Some of the gadgetry and the code-breaking exploits are a bit far fetched, but the scene where four agents walked down a street unscathed by the bullets of gunmen and rooftop snipers was entirely accurate.’

Surveys show that as many as 95 percent of baddies, as well as being extremely dim, are poor shots because they can’t be trusted with guns to practice with. In a typical scenario of hiding behind cars or buildings and leaping out to take pot-shots, the bad guys repeatedly miss the good guys but then get taken out themselves by a single shot.

‘Their other weakness is the gloating’ explained one MI5 insider. ‘The scene where a sniper had his laser sights fixed on Harry Pearce and then didn’t shoot was so true to life,’ said Dearden. ‘It’s that second or so of sadistically relishing the moment, after a life of being put down for being bad, that lets them down time and again. How many times does a Bond villain or the Master say that in 17 minutes the world will come to an end, and then sit back and gloat? If only they took five fewer minutes and gloated less, the civilised world would be history by now.’

Dearden was unable to give further details of the recent incident, but said that MI5 was always on the lookout for recruits. ‘If you’ve ever felt that something wasn’t quite right, and then leant back in your chair as a bullet passes in front of your face, you’ve got what they’re after.’

Posted: Dec 28th, 2008 by Des Custard