Russia cuts off email joke supply to Ukraine
The flow of email jokes into Europe has been reduced to a trickle following the ongoing dispute between Russia, the world’s biggest producer of online humour, and the Ukraine, a major transit hub in the email joke network.
The row between the two states has left most of Eastern Europe without email comedy for the last few days, with Bosnia-Herzegovina suffering particularly badly. ‘The situation is intolerable,’ said Miroslav Lajcak, Bosnia’s Minister of You-Tube Comedy Clips. ‘Our office workers have been reduced to passing knock-knock jokes to each other on pieces of paper.’ There have also been reports of Albanian shepherds attempting to act out the clip of Adolf Hitler from Downfall with subtitles referring to a disappointing sports result.
In an attempt to break out of Russia’s comedic stranglehold, Ukrainian distributors are frantically uploading stupid clips of sock puppets miming to Abba hits, compilations of George Bush malapropisms and footage of animals doing amusing things that are normally done by humans. ‘Wait until you see the one with the guys slippers glued to the floor – priceless!’ chuckled Ukraine’s Cyber-comedy Czar.
Meanwhile the ripple effect has seen Western countries struggling with dwindling supplies. Ireland has doubled its humour imports from secondary producer Norway while Spain has opened up its electronic borders to one-liners from North Africa. Both France and Italy have announced emergency measures, introducing a joke-by-telex system using an emergency network developed during the cold war, whilst Britain has opened up the archives and declassified thousands of pre-war knob gags for general circulation. Germany remains unaffected.
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