Theologists and Buddhist gurus have today begun a complete re-think of the path to enlightenment after a thirty-six year old man from Bristol achieved perfect inner Zen after buying a middle of the range Toshiba television from the Dixons electrical store at a retail park on Saturday.
Jeff Daniels, a fork lift truck driver, explained ‘I was quite excited to get it home and unpack it; I’d opted for the 100hz version, 1080p resolution and SRS WOW technology speakers. I already had a pretty decent TV but just felt like I needed to buy something new. It cost me just under seven hundred quid which I put on my credit card’.
But shortly after switching it on and watching the football results in High Definition a strange sensation of inner contentment began to wash over Mr Daniels. He claimed that all his anxieties and inner conflicts began to drift away, ‘as if I was a shell on a tropical beach’. Spiritual leaders now believe that the path to enlightenment may not lie in living a life of service to others, or in contemplation or prayer, or in reading scriptures and seeking a deeper meaning for man’s time on Earth. ‘No, it’s definitely a big telly from Dixon’s’ declared a spokesman for the Vatican, who reported that the Pope has urged people to get Sky Plus as well so you can fast forward through the adverts.
Meanwhile Jeff says that he is no longer trapped in the tormented cycle of ego and consumerism and finally feels complete; he has achieved an absolute clarity and spiritual harmony with no need for material goods; ‘Although I was thinking about buying an Xbox 360 next week, just out of boredom.’