NewsBiscuit

Thousands of unemployed bankers were identified by amateur enthusiasts across the country in Britain’s first organised survey of sacked investors and redundant stockbrokers. Families were asked to spend just one hour over the weekend looking out for the distinctive signs of those formerly employed in the financial sector, so that a nationwide picture could be built up of this now endangered species.

‘We have been thrilled by the response of the British public in our first survey’ said the Royal Society for the Protection of Bankers. ‘It’s as if the British public really enjoying spotting these endangered financiers and stock-brokers, as they migrate from the City to new roosts under the arches around Kings Cross. You can still hear their distinctive call of ‘Buy! Buy!’ although spotters have reported a slight change in tone and are now spelling it ‘Bye! Bye!’

‘We saw a Lesser Hedge Fund Manager hovering outside a wine bar’ said an excited Jennifer Harrison, aged twelve. ‘He looked like he was returning to a traditional watering hole, but something was preventing him from going in. Daddy said he loved to listen to his cry.’ The characteristic pin-striped suit and white shirt makes the Hedge Fund Manager unmistakeable in the leafy suburbs of the Home Counties but their numbers have suffered a dramatic downturn recently alongside such traditional British favourites as the Great Rich Bustard and the Long-Named Tit.

Mostly the ex-bankers were spotted sleeping under bushes or looking for food in parks and waste ground but the survey did reveal one or two of them that were spotted in the air. ‘Or to be precise, travelling downwards very quickly’ explained the RSPB, ‘from the top of the Nat West Tower.’

Posted: Jan 26th, 2009 by NewsBiscuit