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Depressed Twitter addict fails to get suicide note down to 140 characters

A man whose life had been ruined by the social networking craze Twitter failed to end it all yesterday after he found himself unable to write a farewell message sufficiently concise to explain his reasons. Friends and associates of David Gough, 33, had been kept informed of his steady decline over the past few months, receiving regular personal updates such as ‘Now having sex with my wife. She is saying put that bloody iPhone away’ and ‘Wife has just walked out. Says I spend too much time sending bloody messages.’

Further ‘Tweets’ as the messages are called, included brief accounts of how David lost his job due to his narcissistic obsession with reporting every single moment of his day and even a live account of the moment he was arrested for texting on the motorway. Other Tweets included ‘Policeman just said ‘Stop tapping that bloody palm-top or we will shove it up your arse’ and ‘Magistrate now giving me a sentence. Asking what I doing with that ‘little gadget’!

Gradually David found himself isolated, jobless, penniless and depressed. Before ending it all he attempted a final Tweet informing his last few contacts of his reasons for deciding to commit suicide. ‘But 140 characters is like, two short sentences’, he complained. ‘How the hell can you begin to say anything in that?’ He has now created a user group on Facebook called ‘People driven to suicide by social networking. The number of those signed up is falling every day.’

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Posted: Jan 30th, 2009 by NewsBiscuit

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