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Redditch Council grant planning permission for new hill

988-redditch-hill3A new hill earmarked for completion in early 2014 has been finally given the go-ahead by councillors in the small town in Worcestershire. Redditch, once famous for its needle industry, will be the site of the new £725 billion project measuring 21 square miles, 800 feet high and weighing in at approximately 10 trillion tons.

The new landmark was dreamed up by architect and keen amateur gardener Dave Edwards. ‘It has always been a dream of mine to one day build a big hill in an urban setting,’ said the visionary hill-designer.

Redditch Borough Council claim that the new hill will create more than 10,000 jobs in the local area and bring much-needed investment to the Midlands town. ‘Out-of-town hills are killing Britain’s city centres,’ said Councillor Adam Wearing. ‘People are no longer going rambling in their local shopping malls, but are now driving to some rural area of outstanding natural beauty and hiking and picnicking there. It’s time for Redditch to lead the fight back.’

However environmentalists are angry that an existing, smaller hill will have to be demolished to make way for the new one. ‘The old hill is home to wild bramble and stinging nettles,’ said Ken Brock from Redditch Hill-Watch. ‘There are a number of interesting species of bindweed and grasses growing up between the abandoned shopping trolleys. We will be holding a vigil for the threatened hillock.’

There is also some concern that the rest of Redditch will have to be demolished to make way for the new hill. Phase one of the scheme includes the demolition of around 20,000 homes and businesses and rehousing for the 70,000 or so residents in neighbouring Dudley. ‘Although they may eventually have to move on from there too,’ admitted Architect Dave Edwards. ‘Once I have realised my dream of building Dudley Rift Valley.’

Sickfiction

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2009 by Sickfiction

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