A comprehensive in Reading has today been ordered to admit a local demon possessed child even though the headmaster had complained they could not cater for the specific needs of satanic pupils or get the bed she was tied to through its doors.
Posted: Feb 22nd, 2009
More from Education
Walton and Chadbourn, self-proclaimed ‘purveyors of opulent snacks since 1983’ have finally conceded that their premium-priced Organic Ilchester and Caramelised Shallot flavoured crisps were effectively ‘just Cheese and Onion, really’. The admission came at the end of a landmark court battle and looks set to have major repercussions across the luxury crisp and snack market.
Posted: Feb 21st, 2009
More from UK News
Friends of Paul Wooton, a transgender man who unexpectedly returned to the UK after completing sex realignment surgery in Hungary, were disappointed to report that despite the life-changing transformation, ‘deep down she’s the same boring old sod she was when she was as a fellah’.
Posted: Feb 20th, 2009
More from Lifestyle
‘unforeseen delays regarding an outstanding commitment made nearly 2000 years ago’
Posted: Feb 19th, 2009
More from World News
A middle-aged couple from the Isle of Wight are the toast of the literary scene today after publishing what the London Review of Books has called ‘the standalone achievement in British literary history’. Mr and Mrs Harris, whose only previous works have included notes for the milkman and a firm but fair letter of complaint to the council about overhanging branches, penned the seven-line postcard for a neighbour while on a city-break in Paris and are now firm favourites to pick up both the Booker and a Nobel prize for Literature.
Posted: Feb 18th, 2009
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