Mr Jarman has lived in his property. a terraced new build on the Orchard Estate, for two years. His previous neighbours Doris and Albert were an elderly couple who moved into sheltered accommodation six months ago, and a younger, professional couple moved in. ‘I thought it would be great to have some people more my own age living next door’ said Mr Jarman, ‘and they seemed really nice. They invited me over for a glass of wine that first day and I remember thinking how lucky I was not to have ended up with nutters or neighbours from hell’. By the next morning though, Mr Jarman was a lot more familiar with the ‘nice couple next door’.
‘It was a bit embarrassing but I had a laugh about it at work’ he recalls. ‘I mean, it was their first night in a new house and I figured they were celebrating. Loudly. And repeatedly. And rather athletically to be honest!’
Over the next few days Mr Jarman kept telling himself it was just the novelty of the new place and it would soon wear off, but if anything it got worse. ‘To be honest I haven’t slept properly since they moved in, and even my friends are fed up with the racket . Like I say, we used to laugh, but it’s beyond a joke now.’
It isn’t just the noise which is bothering Mr Jarman, but the related psychological effects. ‘I’m a normal bloke’ he said ‘I like a bit of porn – normal healthy stuff you know, nothing weird, and I’m not going to lie and say it hasn’t turned me on. In the early days I even looked forward to them getting started. But it’s got to the point where I’m scared to invite a girl back to mine in case of comparisons. How does he keep going for hours on end every bloody night? It’s enough to make me want Doris and Albert back. At least if I wanted to hear them at it I had to put a glass on the wall.’