It’s been a long wait, but the prestigious World’s Filthiest Mug award for 2008 has finally been awarded to a West Midlands engineer following weeks of deliberation by judges. Colleagues of Donald Munn, 57, a lathe operator for Walsall Industrial Manifolds Ltd., put him forward for the award after the factory’s health and safety rep threatened to place his dirty tea mug into the canteen dishwasher.
Munn’s supervisor knew that the only way to save the receptacle was to enter it into the competition. ‘He’s put a lot of time and effort into that mug,’ he said. ‘Washing away all that work would have broken his heart.’
The vessel was thus saved from cleaning, much to the gratitude of the World’s Filthiest Mug judging panel, who praised Munn’s mug for its outstanding griminess after careful inspection and tests for fake stainage and carbon-dating for authenticity. ‘It’s not only the layers of tannin stains built up from years of drinking extra-strong engineering grade tea,’ said head judge Olaf Burgherson, ‘but also the encrusted sugar crystals, splashes of dried cutting fluid and bits of embedded swarf that give this mug its unique character.’
As is traditional, the winner was handed the coveted trophy at a glittering ceremony at London’s Savoy hotel. The solid silver cup was held aloft by Munn, whose hands were still covered in engine oil and gravy from a steak and kidney pie. ‘Genius,’ said the chair of judges, ‘the man’s a natural.’
(one line Ugi)