The International Monetary Fund confirmed today that the giant thermometer erected outside its Washington headquarters will show the running total of funds raised for the recapitalisation of the world’s financial markets.
‘This is just the first step,’ said a spokesman. ‘We’ve got a fete lined up, followed by a sponsored walk, a bring-and-buy sale, and an international five-trillion-bob-a-job week. The fete’s going to be great – there’s a ‘Soak the Pontiff’ stall. Where else could you throw a wet sponge at the Pope and help rescue global capitalism?’
Politicians were divided on whether the new IMF strategy, described as ‘back to basics fundraising’, would work. ‘The 2008 World Bank Bazaar was a complete fiasco’ said the French Ambassador to the United Nations. ‘Mr Brown’s marmalade stall made just 40 euros, and Mrs Merkel fell out with the South Koreans over who made the better hot dogs. It’s just not worth it.’
Other world leaders complained about the cost of the thermometer, built by Haliburton inc. at just over $1,000,000 per foot. ‘Perhaps we didn’t need this structure to withstand a direct hit from a Boeing 747,’ said the spokesman, ‘but it should last us until the next world depression in 2080’
As of last night the thermometer total stood at $1.50, donated by a Mr Mugabe of Zimbabwe.