McDonalds tells customer: ‘I think you’ve had enough’
‘We saw him waddle up in a right state. He had to turn sideways to get through the front doors.’
Archive for March, 2009
Writer of the Month for March 2009 is jp1885
The mysterious jp1885 can finally be revealed as Jon Price. From his lair in the wilds of Herefordshire, Jon (pictured here with his lovely assistant) works on the ‘throw enough shit and some of it’ll stick’ principle, managing to get a handful of sketches on the radio as a result. Following this modest success he put away his pen in order to get married and father a child, before discovering the joys of Newsbiscuit (he was looking for the Joy of Sex but the library didn’t have it) Jon’s writing has been hailed as ‘hilarious’, ‘innovative’ and ‘what are you doing on my computer? Get out before I call security.’ He will continue to write articles and one-liners for your delectation – court order or no court order. Why jp1885? The jp bit is obvious, but the 1885… therein lies one of literature’s greatest mysteries… (Hint: he isn’t 124 years old)
Posted: Mar 20th, 2009
More from Stuff
New data loss scandal as civil servant ‘left on train’
There was embarrassment for the government today as it confirmed that the whereabouts of Mr Coverdale, a career civil servant remained unknown after he was left on a train yesterday. The security breach occurred as a party of officials returned from a meeting on the 16:47 to London St Pancras, only to later realise that one of their contingent was missing.
Posted: Mar 20th, 2009
More from Politics
Sergeant Pepper disqualified from all time Top 100 Albums after testing positive for drugs
The The British Phonographic Institute has officially disqualified The Beatles seminal 1967 album Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band from its list of the 100 greatest albums of all time. The ban follows new evidence that band were taking performance enhancing drugs during its recording. Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr have issued a joint statement apologising for the deception. ‘It was a hugely competitive time for everyone in music, and regrettably we gave in to peer-pressure. We have brought shame upon the British music industry and the whole nation.’
Posted: Mar 19th, 2009
More from Arts/Entertainment
‘Too PC to be realistic’ say critics of BBC’s new buddy cop drama, The Tranny and the Taliban
‘They clashed on everything; from booze to burqas’
Posted: Mar 18th, 2009
More from Arts/Entertainment
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