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Government moves to ban drink-banking

'Just one more, then I've really got to get back to those hedge funds'

'Just one more, then I've really got to get back to those hedge funds'

The Government today introduced strict new laws to prevent finance workers from trading while under the influence of alcohol.  City insiders say that the practice is rife among bankers when they are not experimenting with LSD or mainlining heroin.  However, a recent study has found that drinking can make some figures appear more attractive than they actually are, and can lead to an inflated opinion of one loan’s worth.  In one unfortunate case a banker woke up with a portfolio of toxic debt that only hours before he had jokingly dismissed as ‘an eight-pinter at best’.  The study also warned that excessive banking can lead to blindness, but said that heroin is fine.

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Posted: Apr 3rd, 2009 by Genghis Cohen

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