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Isle of Wight man dies trying to answer 3,000 spam emails a day

he had to reply to them allArthur Spriggs, 78, of Sandown IoW was found slumped over his computer this morning and later pronounced dead of exhaustion, after attempting to answer every single spam email in his inbox.

Arthur’s widow Maisie, 75, tearfully explained that her late husband was meticulously polite all his life, and believed it was good manners to answer all correspondence promptly. ‘He was a good man,’ sobbed Maisie. ‘He believed in good, old fashioned manners and efficiency. He served 45 years in the Ministry of Agriculture and always boasted that he would clear his in-tray every day before leaving work. But just lately he became very depressed by the over-whelming number of emails he was getting. He was struggling to keep up with answering them all properly.’

Mr Spriggs first bought a computer three years ago to keep in touch with their son Barry, who had emigrated to Australia. Mrs Spriggs explained that all was well for a couple of years, and he even managed to keep up with acknowledging all the various joke circulars; forwarding round chain letters and petitions to ten friends; and politely declining invitations to help out potentially wealthy Nigerians. ‘But in the last few months the number of messages went up and up until it was thousands a day. Arthur was really fed up but he felt he just had to answer them all properly. That’s the way he was brought up, and it killed him in the end.’

Police investigating the incident found that the last 438 messages in Mr Spriggs’s sent folder read: ‘Dear Sir, I refer to your esteemed correspondence of the 18th inst. I beg to inform you that the length and girth of my penis is adequate for the requirements of my dear wife. I therefore must regretfully decline your kind invitation. I remain, sir, your humble servant, Arthur Spriggs.’

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2009 by barnabas

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