Eco warrior Bono has ruled that if you are very famous, then just talking about the environment a lot offsets the damage you do to the planet by flying around it.
Under Bono’s new regime, the laws on private jet use will be relaxed, making it easier to offset the owners’s carbon footprint. ‘Moral exhibitionism’ is to be revalued, making one grand statement the equivalent to a ton of Co2. This would mean that the effects of burning a tankful of aviation fuel could be offset by, for example, a public appearance at a demo, or a protest song at a politician’s inauguration.
‘We’re all guests on this planet,’ said Bono, ‘but some of us are on the VIP list. We’d all do well to remember that.’