Spiritualist IT company OtherWorld Solutions announced the launch of a new digital Ouija board intended to replace the commonplace nineteenth century versions and ‘bring the ghosts of yesterday into the world of tomorrow’.
The idea of a séance has for decades conjured up the image of a darkened room full of the hopeful and curious living, speaking to passed-away relatives via a lettered board and an upturned glass that is manually pushed around the table. However the new system, compatible with both Microsoft and Apple software, dramatically updates the process and is, according to Sales Manager Nigel Lockie, a ‘future-proofed alternative to old analogue systems that are coming to the end of their life – in this dimension at least’.
Yet early sales of the new Ouija keyboard have been surprisingly slow, and there has been some resistance from the very traditional psychic community, with many spiritual conduits still happily using the even older technology of asking those beyond the grave to thump the table ‘once for no, twice for yes’, which Lockie described as ‘reliable, but painfully slow – especially when you consider that many spirits these days are very IT literate’. However Lockie claimed early adopters have seen significant benefits, including faster communications of messages from the ether resulting in more appointments for the medium, and potential for more than tripling turnover, ‘not that it’s all about money, of course, it’s helping clients and the spirits finds peace,’ he added.
Lockie also admitted there are some teething problems with the new technology, meaning occasionally it’s not clear at first whether a communicating spirit’s name begins with a D, or a B, or a J, or an N, and sometimes the spirits appear to get the wrong answer to personal questions on the first attempt ‘due to a bug in the spellchecker’. But despite these ‘minor software faults’ the hit rate for finding someone in the séance room with a deceased relative that matches the profile is ‘outstanding’.
‘Our medium customers are soon passing on messages of how happy the spirits are in the afterworld to delighted members of their families,’ Lockie concluded, ‘although we’re particularly surprised and pleased with how many of the departed would like to stay in touch, and are recommending their relatives avail of our affordable linked online repeat booking service.’