MPs’ expenses now Britain’s fastest growing industry

Spending our way out of recession

Business Secretary Peter Mandelson today proudly reported that the sector servicing the professional needs of Members of Parliament achieved record growth during the last year. He attributed the increase in expenses to the enormous quantity of work MPs are getting through, and to the wisdom of light-touch regulation.

‘These figures are evidence of the first green shoots of recovery,’ Mandelson told MPs. ‘We have injected billions into the markets to stimulate the economy, and that’s not bad going for only 646 of us with a small back-room staff of predominantly family members.’ Unfortunately Mr Mandelson had to cut short his statement as he had a number of DVDs at his second home which needed returning before 9pm if the taxpayer wasn’t going to incur a small but inconvenient fine.

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