Ex-MP who quit Labour over smears ‘was cannibal’, says party

Just coincidence that Rwandan genocide occurred during her life?

Alice Mahon, the former Labour MP who recently resigned from the party in protest against the culture of smear attacks, has been exposed by colleagues as a flesh-eating, sex-crazed monster. Well-informed Labour party sources have revealed that the apparently-principled Mahon was rumoured to abduct constituents’ children for use in black masses, may have enjoyed being whipped by leather-clad dominatrices, and was in all likelihood a central figure in the assassination of John F. Kennedy. A Labour party spokesman went on to confirm that there is no smear culture in the government and anyone who said otherwise was completely gay.

Oxbridge

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