Agency hiring out ‘stupid people’ for smart dinner party circuit

loudmouth cretins never in more demand

An Islington company that hires out fools for social occasions is thriving despite the recession, according to the company’s PR spokesman. ‘Fool Hire Ltd supplies clients with a stupid person to attend their gatherings as a working guest,’ explained Magnus Catchpole. ‘The client can choose from a simple idiot to top-of-the range loudmouth cretin and we charge by the hour with weekends rather more expensive.’

The company’s glossy brochure says that a clearly identifiable stupid person at a dinner-party adds to the prestige of both host and guests. ‘We guarantee that after having corrected the brainless loser; put him down, laughed and poked fun at his foolishness and his silly remarks, guests will leave feeling totally superior.’

The company claims that its fools are carefully selected for their quality foolishness and they must dramatically fail both an IQ test and a practical aptitude test. One satisfied customer said ‘I like the people who come to my dinner-parties, but quite honestly they’re a pretty dim bunch. But with the rented idiot they soon started to feel quite brainy. And it’s good fun winking and kicking each other under the table whenever the fool makes a foolish remark.’

He said his guests went home feeling like Einstein and he would certainly be hiring a fool again. ‘He proved he was well worth the five hundred quid when one of my guests was boring on about the recession and asked how one could tell someone was in pain. Then the hired fool chipped in with; ‘I say, isn’t that a proposition from the later Wittgenstein?” How we all laughed!’

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2009 by

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