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Shopkeepers near UKIP leader’s home pretending not to speak English

goodbye pleaseShopkeepers and local services in Kent are conspiring not to understand a word that UKIP leader Nigel Farage says whenever he comes into their shops. Rashish Mahmoud, of Mahmoud’s Food & Wine told reporters, ‘It’s just to mess with his head really, nothing…oh shit, here he comes…what what? Hello please? No paper deliverings today? Yes, yes… We have many, many newspapers…Goodbye please? As I was saying it’s nothing personal, it’s just a bit of a laugh…’

Other shops have refused the UKIP leader’s money saying they only take Euros, Indian rupees or Eastern Caribbean Dollars. A creative rivalry is developing amongst his local shopkeepers as they stop serving him to pray to Mecca or cover the face of all the women on the packaging. His local butcher said ‘Nigel knows I’m English so I put my finger to my lips and then wrote him a note saying that I’d been told that under the latest Brussels directive I wasn’t allowed to speak English out loud because it was racist. He didn’t want our Halal goat’s testicles either, which I claimed is all I’m allowed to sell.’

Speaking in the European Parliament yesterday, Nigel Farage complained that shopkeepers near his home were apparently compelled under EC law to wear German lederhosen and sing the Horst Wessel song every time anyone walked into their shop. However the rest of the British Euro MPs pretended not to understand him, saying they were just doing this job until they had earned enough to go home to Poland.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2009 by LeonardMungbean

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