NewsBiscuit

Pirates off the coast of Somalia have been undergoing a radical re-branding exercise in a bid to help increase public sympathy with their cause. Henceforth cargo ships risking the dangerous waters off the horn of Africa will have to look out for Somalis wearing eighteenth-century frock coats, eye patches and black hats featuring the distinctive ‘skull and crossbones’ logo. A spokesman for the new-look Somali privateers explained the shift to more traditional pirate attire; ‘Aha, Jim lad, thar be pieces of eight in that there Spanish galleon!’, after which the ‘pieces of eight’ point was re-iterated several times by the green parrots on his left shoulder.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2009
More from World News

Roy Bland has lived in West Cornwall since arriving there on the beatnik trail in the Sixties, so what you get is a view of events through a haze of this and that from the bottom left hand corner of the UK. A retired schoolteacher so, yes, he’s enjoying himself for the first time in years. Started writing for the site in January 2009, so he regards his rise to Writer of the Month – after just missing the accolade in March – as meteoric. Agrees with Kingsley Amis that, ‘If you can’t annoy somebody, there’s little point in writing’, but has to be careful not to alienate his teashop customers. He says he’s ‘delighted and touched’ to be receiving the coveted mug, but is unsure of the protocol for rejecting invitations (especially from Americans) to open fetes and the like.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2009
More from Stuff

Business Secretary Peter Mandelson today proudly reported that the sector servicing the professional needs of Members of Parliament achieved record growth during the last year.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2009
More from News In Brief

Colleagues at Glass Ceiling Conservatories in Cheltenham agreed today that any opportunity to correct the managing director’s impression that Martin Henderson’s name is ‘Steve’ had probably now passed.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2009
More from News In Brief

Eight-year-old Nigel Williams from Maidenhead will tomorrow step into his family’s history books when for the first time he will attempt to walk alone along the three hundred-metre route from his home to school.

His mother, Jennifer said that although she was apprehensive, she supported her son in what she described as ‘the journey of a lifetime’.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2009
More from UK News