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Archive for April, 2009

Chip shops to ‘hide the pies’ in bid to reduce obesity

Unhealthy foods such as pies, chips and burgers are to be kept under the counter under new proposals proposed by the Department of Health. From next year, it will be illegal to advertise or display fried foods, sugary drinks ‘or any other foodstuff likely to increase the chances of obesity.’

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2009
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Court ruling confirms Dorset village’s name ‘is pronounced scrotum’

schroathamAfter months of wrangling between life-long villagers and affluent newcomers, a High Court judge has ruled that the name of the tiny Dorset village of Schroatham should correctly be pronounced ‘scrotum’.

The dispute around the name of the village had originated following an influx of newcomers to the area attracted by newly built executive homes and high-speed rail links. ‘We’ve always called it Scrotum, but apparently it’s not ‘aspirational sounding’ enough for these townies,’ explained villager Jess Bryant, who also reported that as newcomers descended upon the village, there were a number of attempts to influence the accepted pronunciation by loudly and repeatedly referring to the village in the pub and shops as ‘Shroo-tum’, and latterly ‘Shroam’.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2009
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Christian Scientists split god

A group of Christian research scientists in Massachusetts announced this week that they had managed for the first time to split God into his component parts. God is believed to have existed in the conditions immediately prior to the Big Bang.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2009
More from News In Brief



Tension grows as North Korea stand-off reaches Bromley

bromleyLast week’s successful launch by North Korea of a long-range rocket has heightened tensions across a privet hedge in the London borough of Bromley.

When, in a show of solidarity with the communist state, one time Stalinist and Maoist Bert Driberg declared his Chislehurst semi-detached to be part of the Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea (DPRK), he said he expected some local opposition – but was initially surprised when neighbour Julian Dearlove then declared his house to be part of South Korea.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2009
More from UK News



Shropshire woman uses phone box

Delighted BT bosses were celebrating today after a coin was found to have been deposited in a call box in Shrewsbury. The 50p coin, the first to be collected by BT staff in over two years, will boost predicted takings from phone boxes by 500%.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2009
More from News In Brief