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Verona social services slammed in under-age abduction of ‘Juliet’

she is well fit innitSocial services in Verona have come under fire following the alleged abduction of a 13-year-old girl by a notorious local teenage hoodlum. Government ministers have warned that heads will literally roll if negligence is proved. The girl has been identified as Juliet Capulet, whose family live in the centre of town. Her abductor is believed to be Romeo Montague, who was apparently well known to social workers on the rough estates of Montecchio Maggiore for pursuing vendettas against rich families. He is also believed to have sprayed “juliet iz well fit n i want to shag her 100% true’ on walls around the city.

‘It’s disgraceful,’ sobbed the girl’s mother. ‘Everyone knows what a load of villains those Montagues are. They’ve been lobbing artillery at our castle on and off for the past 20 years, then that little thug starts sniffing round my baby girl. I told social services what would happen but they didn’t want to know.’

Neither of the pair has been seen in the 72 hours since Montague was caught on CCTV cameras riding his mountain bike up and down the road outside a first floor balcony window at the Capulet home. The authorities are increasingly fearful for the well-being of Juliet and have warned local chemists not to dispense poison until further notice. An all-points notice has been put out for a missing friar.

A police spokesman added: ‘We understand that Juliet is mature for her age and she speaks in iambic pentameters. However, the fact is that she is still below the age of consent and we will not tolerate paedophiles in this community. Besides, her family want to marry her off to the son of one of their friends when she is 15.’

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Posted: May 7th, 2009 by Oxbridge

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