NewsBiscuit

Salute 2009, the biggest miniature wargames gathering in the UK, was besieged by hordes of hysterical young girls yesterday as fans of the hobby’s greatest gamers flocked to the Excel Exhibition Centre in London to see their heroes in action.

As the tabletops were prepared with scenery, painstakingly painted miniatures carefully unpacked and the minutiae of wargaming rules brushed up on, hundreds of teenage girls worked themselves up into a delirious frenzy while they waited for their idols, such as 56 year old gaming idol Barry Cullen, to appear.

‘Barry is just dreamy!’ one devotee enthused. ‘The way he moved his 6mm scale 1794-1801 French Repub1ican army around the table at Walsall Warriors last month was amazing – carefully measuring distances and calculating modifiers before rolling the dice. And when he pointed out that the breastplates on his opponent’s Russian Cuirassiers should have been painted black and not silver I nearly fainted! I ripped down my David Beckham posters that very night.’

Perhaps some of the most vocal enthusiasm was reserved for 13 year old newcomer Tyler Bryant, whose 1250 point Khorne Chaos Army has become the stuff of many a young girl’s dreams. One fan, who has been a wargamer groupie after reading a photo-feature on his Bloodletter demon archers in Girlz magazine, summed up the near-fanatical devotion many girls have for this modest young man. ‘He’s quiet, but you can tell he’s got an iron streak of winningness in him. He’ll study the Warhammer rulebook for hours before making a move – it’s thrilling!’

Both Barry and Tyler face this screaming adulation, with exhausted swooners being pulled out of the throng by St. John’s Ambulance volunteers, with the kind of cocksure nonchalance typical of superstars whatever their field. ‘It’s quite a step from wargaming on my ping-pong table in the garage,’ shrugged Tyler. ‘But it’s no big deal.’

‘We’re used to this kind of treatment,’ Barry concurred, ‘but even so – this year, expect to be deafened by the hysteria as I unveil my 15mm scale Hittite warband. The careful undercoating, sympathetic shading and vibrant highlighting of the miniatures, the realistic yet durable basing of each regiment and the exhaustively researched historical battle tactics – it’s enough to make any prepubescent wet herself.’

Posted: May 8th, 2009 by jp1885