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Prince Charles attacks architectural plans for Heavenly City of Jerusalem

Charles has 'had a quiet word' with JesusPrince Charles has intervened over Divine plans for a New Heavenly City of Jerusalem, set to descend from Heaven to Earth at the end of human history, ushering in the earthly reign of God the Father over all mankind for eternity. The Prince has branded the architectural plans – first outlined in the Book of Revelation by St John the Divine – as ‘unsympathetic’, and ‘likely to destroy the period charm of the existing City’.

In place of the current blueprints, featuring a city of pure gold, surrounded by a translucent jasper courtyard and 144 cubit-high surrounding walls, with embossed gates of pure pearl, the Prince has commissioned a Neo-Georgian design by one of his favourite architects Quinlan Terry. According to a source at Clarence House, Charles has already had ‘a quiet word’ about these new plans, ‘Prince to Prince’, with the Prince of Peace: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, hoping to come to some kind of understanding.

The intervention has led to some critics accusing Charles of attempting to short-circuit the Divine planning procedure by which God the Father’s sovereign will is usually exercised: ‘That man seems to have an opinion about everything’ remarked Frank Gehry, designer of the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao ‘intensive agriculture, flaky medicine and now plans to stage the end of the World; is there no end to his meddling?’

A spokesperson for Jehovah’s Witnesses publication Watchtower – charged with producing all official artists’ impressions of the End Times – said that they had received no new Divine instructions regarding plans for a New Heaven and a New Earth. ‘His Royal Highness did drop by with the new plans last week, but I can’t see them taking off to be honest. I mean: all those ionic columns and decorative mouldings, pur-leese, it’s just so dated and kitsch.’

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Posted: May 10th, 2009 by Skylarking

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  1. [...] NewsBiscuit is a national treasure – full of random false news. This is a classic – Prince Charles changes the plans for the Heavenly Jerusalem. [...]