Man diagnosed with ‘indifference to Marmite’

The Department of Health has urged the public to remain calm after a man in West London was diagnosed as ‘indifferent to Marmite’.

Reports surfaced after the man was overheard in a cafe admitting that he could ‘take or leave’ the brown toast topping. ‘We’ve never seen anything like this before’ said a face-masked Government official shortly before evacuating the area.

Tests are now being carried out on the man to confirm his indifference, but the World Health Organisation has stressed that at the moment the virus has not reached pandemic proportions. The Government has also confirmed that it will be sending a leaflet to every household providing advice on how to maintain love or hatred for the sandwich filling.

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Posted: May 11th, 2009 by

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