Researchers have discovered that foreign people are capable of speaking and understanding English. Professor Adam Kane of Bristol University explained, ‘we were excited to hear that holidaymakers had managed to communicate with locals by speaking English’. Further research showed that foreigners’ understanding of spoken English is enhanced if the speaker talks slowly and loudly, as if they were speaking to a toddler with hearing difficulties.
The team also discovered, by watching old films and TV programmes, that Europeans are capable of communicating with each other in English as long as it is done with their own accent. The technique has been found to be particularly effective when used by Germans attempting to conquer Europe, bumbling French café owners and dodgy looking Eastern Europeans intent on killing James Bond.