Virgin Leisure announced today that it will shortly not open a chain of completely non-existent gyms. The scheme is aimed at people who like the idea of joining a health club but can never be arsed to go.
Posted: May 27th, 2009
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Global campaigner Bono has slammed British M.P.s for avoiding paying tax on their expenses. ‘It’s the piousness I can’t stand,’ said the U2 star yesterday, posing for pictures outside the Houses of Parliament. ‘What’s really nauseating is they act like they’re saving the world, when all they’re doing is saving their receipts.’
Posted: May 27th, 2009
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The world’s leading manufacturers of wall fixing and anchoring systems, has announced the launch of its latest product specially designed to facilitate nailing jelly to a wall.
Posted: May 27th, 2009
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The 18-year-old fish become de-hydrated and collapsed in the rough on the par 3 fairway.
Posted: May 27th, 2009
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Microsoft Word has upgraded its animated writing assistant ‘Clippie’ to assist those resigning as Members of Parliament, football managers or poetry professors. The word processing software automatically recognizes the phrase ‘I feel that under the circumstance…’ at which point the familiar paperclip pops up and says ‘I see you are writing a resignation letter. Would you like some help appearing contrite and yet hinting that the fault lies elsewhere?’
Posted: May 26th, 2009
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