NewsBiscuit

After the initial euphoria of finally proving the existence of parallel universes, scientists at CERN, the world’s largest particle physics laboratory, were today beginning to voice open disappointment that the alternative reality they had discovered was merely a slightly less exciting version of their own. The decades of talk about wanting to understand the mysteries of the wave-particle duality and instigating a ‘once-in-a-century paradigm shift’ have been quickly forgotten as scientists struggle to come to terms with the inexplicable absence of jet-packs and sexier, ‘evil-twin’ versions of themselves.

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Posted: May 21st, 2009
More from Science/Technology

NASA admitted a ‘minor blunder’, has resulted in the recently repaired Hubble Telescope being returned to orbit upside down. Astronomers across the globe have subsequently been collecting data not on the undiscovered cosmos, but on 32 Holwell Gardens, the semi-detached home of Bob and Janine Cooper.

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Posted: May 20th, 2009
More from News In Brief

fears that some visiting supporters could return home unharmed and still in possession of their wallets

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Posted: May 20th, 2009
More from Sport

Employees at the White House have confessed that continued stories about the President’s exotic upbringing in Hawaii and Indonesia and his work in the poorest areas of Chicago have ceased to be inspiring and now ‘tend to go on a bit’.

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Posted: May 20th, 2009
More from News In Brief

The World Health Organisation is advising television viewers to avoid watching advertisements following reports that Badly Dubbed Advert Syndrome, which causes the sufferer’s voice to become slightly out of synch with their mouth, has spread from TV actors to consumers.

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Posted: May 19th, 2009
More from News In Brief