NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Archive for June, 2009

Big Brother producers forget they have people in the House

Embarrassed Channel 4 production staff have apologised for leaving Big Brother housemates unattended for several days after being distracted by events elsewhere.

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2009
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Huge shopping festival a success – despite being ‘too commercial’

Organisers are claiming that last weekend saw the biggest Asda festival yet, with more than 140,000 people attending over the weekend despite the inclement weather.

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2009
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Home Information Pack failed to mention demonic infestation

'I’m sure we would have remembered that if the estate agent had mentioned it'Buyers unaware of problems such as the damp cellar being replaced by a flaming portal to the depths of hell.

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Posted: Jun 30th, 2009
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Toddler son of loyalist paramilitary puts family DVD player ‘beyond use’

One of Ireland’s most feared paramilitaries was left stunned last night as a vomit incident from his two-year-old son left his DVD player ‘beyond use’. ‘I can say with no fear of contradiction that this piece of home entertainment equipment can no longer be used by my family for the purpose of watching ‘Finding Nemo’,’ said balaclava-clad ‘Kneecaps’ Milligan at a press conference yesterday.

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2009
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‘Stop flashing your boobs at us’ plead Glastonbury stars

Stars from across the musical spectrum have used this years’s Glastonbury festival to speak out against a small number of disruptive young women, who sit on piggy-back in the crowd and expose their breasts during the sets.

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2009
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