The International Olympic Committee confirmed today that Wandering Aimlessly into Busy Traffic will be included in the 2012 Games. ‘For years, thousands of brave Britons have been stepping off the kerb in a semi-catatonic state,’ said Roger Doyle, President of UK Athletics. ‘At last they can compete for a reward greater than the boost to their self-esteem that comes from forcing cars to slow down for them.’
Qualifying rounds will see competitors unexpectedly ambling into the quiet roads of the Olympic Village before the action moves further into London, culminating in a casual rush-hour sortie across the A11 without so much as a precautionary glance at traffic. Trials of the sport have proved enormously popular, with motorists screaming to a halt to encourage athletes with long blasts on their horns while cheering and waving excitedly from behind their windscreens.