The National Pharmacy Association confirmed today that all staff working in chemists’ shops make snap judgements about customers based on the items they purchase. Although sales assistants are trained to smile sympathetically at customers as though they’ve seen it all before, by the time someone leaves the shop staff will have reached a damning verdict on their character.
‘There are classic combinations that are easy to judge,’ said Chantelle, a Boots employee. ‘VapoRub, electric toothbrush and Anusol: pervert, no question. Party feet, Veet and Levonelle: Slag. Next time she’ll want antibiotics for chlamydia, you wait.’
Chantelle was then sent on an early break after refusing to serve a man athlete’s foot powder on the grounds that he was ‘diseased’. After she bought a copy of Heat magazine to read in the staff room, her colleagues wasted no time in agreeing that she was a ‘vacuous bitch’.