NewsBiscuit

Please, only try this at home

46-year-old Derek Witts has finally agreed to expand his repertoire of eye-catching dance-floor moves after a recent family party saw both his teenage children only narrowly escape mortification.  Mr Witts, whose trademark boogie comprises an intuitive combination of leg twists and hip grinds, topped with some ‘freestyle arms’ seemingly employed in lever operation, is considering the addition of some exciting new shapes which he is set to unveil at his daughter’s 18th birthday celebration next weekend.  Bathroom trials have so far been a success, and Mr Witts is confident that his plans to throw back his head, shimmy his shoulders and bite his bottom lip during soft-rock emotional crescendos will be no less effective when performed from his chair way back behind all the other guests.

Posted: Jun 12th, 2009 by Genghis Cohen