Time Travellers have launched an attack on the Chancellor of the Exchequer following plans to seize so-called dormant accounts, where cash has been sitting for lengthy periods untouched. Spokesman Norbert Jones, a time traveller from the year 3900, accused the government of stealing the food pills from his children’s mouths. ‘Putting one pound in an account in this century and withdrawing the accumulative interest centuries later is a standard income earner in the future, but what’s the point if the government takes it all first?’
Jones, who appeared from nowhere resplendent in a purple bodysuit with platinum blonde hair continued: ‘Luckily in this particular time-frame the interest rate is bloody awful anyway. If this had happened a few years ago Mr. Darling’s mum would have found herself on the wrong end of a Terminator droid back in the 50’s!’ Jones then spent 20 minutes in Ladbrokes before disappearing as mysteriously as he had arrived.