Treasury and Foreign Office officials brought a smile to Gordon Brown’s face today when they revealed a multi-billion dollar Hong Kong-style deal with Beijing, in which the Isle of Wight will become an offshore colony of China. The lease, payable in advance, will immediately wipe out most of the country’s foreign debt.
Critics have expressed concern that the island could soon be covered in skyscrapers and there are also worries that British sovereignty over the island will be waived in exchange for the extraordinary cash settlement. Resident Ken Dibbel, 69, explained local anxieties. ‘Apparently the entire population of China, standing shoulder to shoulder, could fit on the Isle of Wight – is this how they’re going to deal with their overpopulation problem? Well they’ll have to breathe in during peak season; I’ll tell you that for nothing!’