A Redditch firm of undertakers is promising to ‘bury the competition’ by offering a range of funerals ‘to die for’. John Starling Funeral Directors have this week launched a range of send off’s that include balloon rides, spa treatments, racing at Brands Hatch, paint balling, and wind surfing. To accompany these they will also offer a savings plan and gift vouchers.
The funeral director’s owner, John Starling, says more and more people are opting to bow out in style. ‘We can offer something in death that the deceased never experienced while they were alive. This is particularly true of our extreme No Way Out funerals where the only certainty is the deceased will come to a highly destructive end. These include the Car Crusher, the Building Demolition, the Hearse Over The Cliff, and The Bomb In The Coffin.’
Molly Finnegan told us she was very happy with the service provided for her late father. ‘We opted for the two hour balloon ride. Dad hated heights, but my Neville and me have always wanted to go up in one So when Dad pegged it we thought we’d kill two birds and use his funeral savings for a special treat.’
Tommy Morgan said his Grandad had always been a huge big band fan, and so the Glen Miller Farewell was the perfect send off. ‘We watched the plane carrying the coffin disappear over the Channel and that was the last we saw of it.’
Not everyone has welcomed this latest innovation. The Rev. Audrey Mulligan from the Death With Dignity Society, says she is appalled. ‘I’m afraid I saw this coming with Big Brother 6, when the deceased housemate was there for six weeks before being voted off. What’s wrong with being sombre and dignified? A few brief words at the grave side, a handful of dirt respectfully thrown, admire the floral tributes, back to the pub for a skinful and then round to their house to grab all the stuff?’