Toddler Sammy Roberts lambasted his parents for continued attempts to entertain him by hiding behind their hands and saying ‘peekaboo’ long after developmentally he was fully aware they were still there. ‘OK, I may have laughed once,’ admitted the 19-month old, ‘but now it’s the same thing every time. It’s worse than Little Britain.’
Posted: Jun 22nd, 2009
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Newcastle owner Mike Ashley insisted his decision to employ 46 different managers next season was ‘entirely sensible football logic’ as the beleaguered club attempts to make an immediate return to the Premier League following relegation.
‘We had four last season and it wasn’t enough to save the club, but we’ve learned our lesson and, with the morale boost and upturn in results a new manager always brings, I can’t see how this can fail,’ claimed Ashley.
Posted: Jun 22nd, 2009
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A Redditch firm of undertakers is promising to ‘bury the competition’ by offering a range of funerals ‘to die for’. John Starling Funeral Directors have this week launched a range of send off’s that include balloon rides, spa treatments, racing at Brands Hatch, paint balling, and wind surfing. To accompany these they will also offer a savings plan and gift vouchers.
The funeral director’s owner, John Starling, says more and more people are opting to bow out in style. ‘We can offer something in death that the deceased never experienced while they were alive. This is particularly true of our extreme No Way Out funerals where the only certainty is the deceased will come to a highly destructive end. These include the Car Crusher, the Building Demolition, the Hearse Over The Cliff, and The Bomb In The Coffin.’
Posted: Jun 22nd, 2009
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Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has elaborated on his acceptance of a Palestinian State by revealing the details of a proposed offer to the Palestinian people – a two-bedroom Jerusalem flat.
Posted: Jun 21st, 2009
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Steve Jobs proudly unveiled ‘Liver 2.0′ at a packed press conference today, following an emergency organ transplant. ‘This new liver is a significant improvement on Liver 1.0′ he told assembled computer geeks and internal organ fans. Its many features include more efficient detoxification, rapid protein synthesis as well as improved hormone production and increased glycogen storage.’
Posted: Jun 21st, 2009
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