Molly Sugden’s cat has bravely revealed a side to the late actress that the public never got to see. Lifting the lid on Sugden’s alter ego, ‘Mrs Slocombe’, she unveils a legacy of tedious innuendo and smutty jokes that almost destroyed her. ‘It’s a good thing I’ve got nine lives, as a lesser animal would have been shattered by the jokes she made about me,’ said the attractive tabby.
‘To be honest, it got very boring being likened to an ageing woman’s vagina all the time,’ said the cat, who still maintains some of her kittenish good looks, ‘she was always having a laugh at my expense. You know the sort of thing – my pussy is all wet. Oh ha bloody ha.’
One of Molly Sugden’s neighbours was shocked when we asked for her reaction to the comedy actress’s constant vagina jokes. ‘Is that what they were? I was too busy with my chicken farm to be honest. All I remember is her constantly suggesting that her pussy might like a visit from my huge cock.’