NewsBiscuit

After a reported wasp sighting in a  Somerset PYO strawberry field  the Health and Safety executive has taken the precaution of banning all outdoor social life.

In response to the sighting on the outskirts of Taunton, a crack team of H & S paramilitaries, primed for just such a crisis, moved swiflty to seize control of all social interaction. Yesterday, they began search and destroy missions as some dissidents held illegal wedding receptions, barbeques and cricket matches.  ‘You always get a few idiots’,  said a spokesman.

Reports of a breakout of naturism, on a beach in Budleigh Salterton, have been unconfirmed due to the total news blackout.

Alec