NewsBiscuit

Following the death of The World’s Oldest Man, just weeks after the previous incumbent died in very similar circumstances, the police are finally going to act. ‘Something’s going on,’ said chief inspector, Jack Regan, ‘Why do these very old men keep on dying?’

In the past fifty years every one of the World’s Oldest Men has lost his title as a result of death. ‘This was no accident,’ said an emotional Regan, although his boss later said that Jack was getting too involved, and may have to be taken off the case.

Police have issued a description of a man seen in the area described as ‘tall, hooded, with a pasty white face and carrying a scythe.’
‘He’s not a suspect, we just want to eliminate him from our enquries,’ said a spokesman.