Hopes of a resolution to the continued occupation of 10 Dagnall Park, Selhurst were dashed again last night as guests Susan and Derek appeared to settle in for the long haul.
‘It feels like they’ve been here for years,’ said Brian Sheldon, an indigene of the disputed territory. ‘They keep raising our hopes saying, ‘Well, we’d better be going,’ and ‘I’m sure you’ve got things to do’, but they never actually go.’
After some promising discussions on the whereabouts of the guests’ coats, things soon took a turn for the worse as Helen unwittingly opened a new topic of conversation with Susan, and Derek led Brian to the computer to show him something funny on Youtube.
Moments later, in a tersely worded statement, Brian, deputy leader of the occupied homeland, asked an empty toilet, ‘Are they ever going to fuck off?’