The British government was bracing itself for a national class action ahead of a ruling by the parliamentary ombudsman on a claim against the Staffordshire Labour party for door-to-door mis-selling. Taking the lead from successful claims of dishonestly sold pensions, mortgages and utility services, a group of voters from the Midlands launched the claim in what they described as ‘a crusade to stand up for the little man’.
‘My clients were visited by a cold-calling Labour party candidate purporting to provide political advice,’ explained a barrister for the claimants, ‘they claimed switching to Labour would save my clients money and provide a more efficient service for running the country. At no point were my clients told that the representative could only advise on Labour party products, and the advisor also failed to state that he would receive a commission in the form of massive housing and expenses perks for completing the sale. We believe that this is a clear case of political mis-selling.’
The claimants’ complaints date back as far as 1997, but many are still angry to this day at how they were taken in by glossy manifestos and catchy slogans. ‘ We were promised that ‘things can only get better’, commented a former plasterer from Coventry, ‘but at least I had a job back then, and a house that wasn’t about to be repossessed. The worst of it is, they kept coming back for more every few years, and took me in every time with promises of new models of government, and sob-stories about needing my vote or they’d end up second-homeless.’
Millions of other voters who believe they’ve been mis-sold a Labour government will be monitoring today’s ruling, as will several Conservative MPs before deciding whether to admit that they voted Labour too. But for the duped members of the public, promises that the government is likely to be shut down in the next few months represent a hollow victory.
‘It’s all very well knowing that the gang’s footsoldiers are going to be sent away to consultancy jobs in industry for a very long time,’ said one former Labour voter who wished to remain anonymous, ‘but the shady boss that masterminded the whole thing is away on his toes sunning himself on a big yacht somewhere, always one step ahead of the law. And I hear ‘Big Tony’ is planning an even bigger scam pulling the wool over the eyes of the whole of Europe!’