NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Archive for July, 2009

Scientists name new heavyweight volatile element Prescottium

For several years since discovering a new heavyweight element greedily devouring everything at the end of the periodic table, scientists have quibbled over a name for this volatile entity. Yesterday they reached a consensus over the identity of element 112: Prescottium.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 17th, 2009
More from News In Brief



Twitter launches ‘Bitter’ service for moaners

Twitter has launched a new service aimed the unhappy. It has identified a demographic that is can’t move on from thier lives. The website ‘Bitter’ allows users to moan, complain or slag off their friends or work colleagues in 140 characters or less without having their accounts suspended for offensive posts.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 17th, 2009
More from News In Brief



Britain’s statues to be coloured in

Walter O'RaleighMinister for work and pensions Yvette Cooper and the Rt Hon Ben Bradshaw, Secretary of State for Culture, Media & Sport, have announced a joint job-creation scheme in which thousands of British job seekers will be tasked with colouring in the nation’s statues.

The initiative is said to have been the brainchild of Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who hit upon the idea after giving Michelle Obama and her children a tour of London’s great and good. Although the First Lady was suitably impressed with Britain’s marble and bronze heritage, one of her daughters was heard to remark that London’s most iconic landmarks ‘were okay, for a bunch of boring old statues.’ Brown’s jaw is said to have tightened with indignation and that very evening a way of brightening up Britain was conceived in Downing Street.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 17th, 2009
More from Arts/Entertainment



Reporting on exams is getting too easy, complain students

Recent Ofcom statistics reveal that the past 22 years has seen a consistent year-on-year increase of newspaper articles about exam results.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 16th, 2009
More from News In Brief



Missing Prime Minister found alive in wilderness

A 58-year-old British prime minister missing for two years has been found alive. Gordon Brown, from Glasgow, Scotland, went missing in Westminster’s political jungle shortly after taking assuming his new role two years ago.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 16th, 2009
More from News In Brief