After years of public denial, a male supermarket shopper has finally broken down and asked for help with his packing.
Before customer services could be drafted in, CCTV footage shows Kevin Bishop committing several rudimentary packing errors, including placing unchecked eggs in his bag before crushing them beneath a Green Giant multipack. He is said to be recovering well at home, but has faced criticism from male pressure groups.
‘He’s let us all down,’ said a spokesman for Men Avoid Common Help, Okay (MACHO). ‘Everyone knows that real men can’t pack, but we keep it inside. Our plums may be pulp, but at least we have our pride.’
But Mr Bishop is now a broken man. ‘I can’t ever go back there,’ he sobbed as he reached for a misshapen tissue box. ‘But if I want to use the local Asda, I’m going to have to ask my wife for directions.’