Labour backbenchers have admitted they are feeling ‘reassured’ about Gordon Brown’s leadership after he announced the download of an ‘election victory’ app for his new iPhone.
‘I was watching TV when one of those perky Apple adverts came on,’ said Gordon Brown. ‘It said, ‘Facing electoral disaster and desperate to beat a resurgent opposition? There’s an app for that’. I can’t think of any more certain method of winning an historic fourth term, and have you seen what happens when I tilt the screen? How cool is that?’
Former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith was enthusiastic about the Prime Minister’s new strategy. ‘I think Gordon’s idea is excellent,’ she told reporters. ‘Up to now I thought the iPhone was just a handy tool for looking at pornographic websites while on the move, but it seems my husband was wrong about that as well.’