A recently separated wife from Hampshire has spoken of the admiration and good will she bears the twenty-something blonde for whom she was recently discarded by her husband.
‘The truth be told, I have let myself go a bit,’ chuckled Mrs Hazel, 48, a housewife from Liphook. ‘At my age, it’s all heading south for winter anyway, but I could have done more to slow the ravages of time. Fair play to John, she’s a stunner. And Chelsea is such a pretty name. I’m sure it sounds much better when screamed in ecstatic abandon than Brenda.’
Having initially struggled to come to terms with being dumped on her birthday, Brenda’s worst fears came to pass when she ran into her estranged husband and his new lover as they dined at the restaurant in which she’s been financially compelled to work as a waitress. ‘Let’s be honest – it could have been really awkward,’ said Mrs Hazel. ‘I’ll admit my first response was to throw scalding hot soup in her whorish face.’
‘But she was just so charming. Eloquent, self-effacing and quite unburdened by the jaded cynicism that has come to characterise my mid-life. She even had the good manners to apologise for her part in the torrid affair that caused the collapse of my 22-year marriage. And she left me a 20% tip.’
Brenda reports that all three of her teenage children are ‘besotted’ by the newcomer in their lives and she believes it will do them ‘no end of good’ to be exposed to such a youthful and vibrant influence, especially one so much closer to their own age. Mr and Mrs Hazel still need to discuss maintenance and custody arrangements, but Brenda is reluctant to ‘crowd’ the new couple in the critical early months of their relationship.
‘She really is a lovely girl,’ sighed Brenda. ‘It’s just a shame she didn’t aim her sights a little higher than a fat, balding prick like my John.’